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iBT TOEFL WRITING 실전 연습

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iBT TOEFL WRITING 실전 연습

Question : Some people prefer to travel places where it
작성자  익명 작성일  19.07.19 19:33 남은제한시간  00:00:00
 
총 단어수 : 398


In the field of epistemology, there is no such thing as an absolute truth. No maxims or axioms are considered definite and absolute, but merely considered to be true at the time of the collection and evaluation of the knowledge. That is because , the technology of humanity is ever changing and belief adapt to these changes accordingly. In other words, the truth in any discipline can always change. The discipline in today's topic can also be interpreted in a plethors of ways. Through my careful assessment, I have come to choose not popular place for travel with the given topic.
To begin with, I like to travel palces where it is not poular to others but I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because there is no distraction from other tourists. I will not be distracted by other people as my main purpose of traveling is relax. No disturbance from other people is what I choose go to unpopular spot. For example, when I went to the Great Wall in Beijing, China, my friends and I were not able to enjoy. Since there were too much people, so the Great Wall became a mass, and I could not walk properly and see the scenic view of Great Wall. It was not a trip that we expected, so we were disappointed with lot of stress.
In addition, I favor to go spots where it is not popular to others but I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because I can spend time more efficiently. I do not have to waste my time in waiting in line. If I wait in line for too long, my trip schedule might be delayed. To spend time more efficiently, I like traveling without crowds. For instance, I went to Luvure Museume in Paris. I had been waiting for 4 hours to enter the museum, I was not able to go other places such as Effle Tower, and I could not see the artworks due to too much tourists. Had it not delayed for long time, I would able to have fun in other places.
Ultimately, the question of this debate must not be fucused on what is definitely correct or wrong, but more so on how robust each claim is, based on the specific pieces of evidence and claims. Through my evaluation, I have decieded to choose unpopular places for trip.

  채점자:김수민
2019-07-20 10:20:55 Writing Evaluation : 18
Expression   Weak Limited Fair Good
Grammar
(문법)
글을 문법에 맞게 썼는지를 판단합니다.
정확하면 good, 약간의 오류가 있으면 fair, 오류가 많으면 limited를 받습니다.
Word Choice
(어휘선택)
상황에 맞는 정확한 단어가 구사되었는지를 판단합니다.
아주 정확하면 good, 대략 어울리면 fair, 약간 벗어나면 limited를 받습니다.
Syntactic Variety
(표현의 다양성)
같은 표현을 반복하지 않고, 다양한 어휘를 구사했는지를 판단합니다.
다양하면 good, 비교적 단조로우면 fair, 계속 반복되면 limited를 받습니다.
Idiomaticity
(관용표현 활용)
사전적 의미를 담고 있는 단어들 이외의 표현들을 썼는지를 판단합니다.
빈도가 높으면 good, 빈도가 낮으면 fair, 없을 경우는 limited를 받습니다.
Sentence Structure
(문장구조)
효율적 표현을 위해 안정된 구조의 문장을 구사했는지를 판단합니다.
구조가 세련되면 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 너무 단조롭거나 이해가 어려우면 limited를 받습니다.
Flow
(문맥의 흐름)
문장들간의 비약이 심하거나 처짐 또는 반복이 없는지를 판단합니다.
문제가 없으면 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 어색한 경우는 limited를 받습니다.
Content   0 1 2 3
Explanation
(설명)
Thesis나 topic sentences같은 main idea들을 얼마나 이해하기 쉽게 썼는지를 판단합니다.
그런 경우 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 아닌 경우는 limited를 받습니다.
Exemplification
(예시)
Topic sentences와 관련된 example을 얼마나 설득력있게 풀어냈는지를 판단합니다.
그런 경우 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 아닌 경우는 limited를 받습니다.
Coherence
(일관성)
글이 주제에 맞게 전개됐는지, main idea들간의 연결이 잘 되었는지를 판단합니다.
그런 경우 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 아닌 경우는 limited를 받습니다.
Overall Organization
(전반적 구성)
서론, 본론, 결론 등 글 전체의 구조와 main idea들이 잘 어우러져 있는지를 판단합니다.
그런 경우 good, 보통인 경우 fair, 아닌 경우는 limited를 받습니다.


첨삭자:김수민 2019-07-20 10:20:25    

In the field of epistemology, there is no such thing as an absolute truth. No maxims or axioms are considered definite and absolute, but merely considered to be true at the time of the collection and evaluation of the knowledge. That is because , the technology of humanity is ever changing and belief adapt to these changes accordingly. In other words, the truth in any discipline can always change. The discipline in today's topic can also be interpreted in a plethors (plethora) of ways. Through my careful assessment, I have come to choose not popular place for travel with the given topic.(이유 정리해서 적어주세요 )
To begin with, I like to travel palces (places ) where it is not poular to others but (because )I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because () there i (There woudl be )s () no distraction from other tourists. I will not be distracted by other people as my main purpose of traveling is relax. (반복입니다 주의해주세요  ) No disturbance from other people is what I choose go to unpopular spot (왜 사람이 적은 것과 relax하는 것이 연결이 되는 지 주의해서 적어주세요 ). For example, when I went to the Great Wall in Beijing, China, my friends and I were not able to enjoy. Since there were toomuch (many) people, so the Great Wall became amass (mess), and I could not walk properly and see the scenic view of Great Wall. It was not a trip that we expected, so we were disappointed with lot of stress. (and received a lot of stress. )
In addition, I favor to go (to the )spots where it is not popular to others but (where) I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because I can spend time more efficiently. I do not have to waste my timein () waiting in line. If I wait in line for too long, my trip schedule might be (would be ) delayed. To spend time more efficiently, I like traveling without crowds. For instance, I went to Luvure Museume in Paris. I had been waiting (waited )for 4 hours to enter the museum,(so) I was not able to go other places such as Effle Tower, and I could not see the artworks () due to toomuc (many)h()tourists. Had it not (been )delayed for (a)long time, I would (have been ) able to have fun in other places.

Ultimately, the question of this debate must not be fucused on what is definitely correct or wrong, but more so on how robust each claim is, based on the specific pieces of evidence and claims. Through my evaluation, I have decieded to choose unpopular places for trip.

첨삭자:김진아 2019-07-19 19:37:43    

In the field of epistemology, there is no such thing as an absolute truth. No maxims or axioms are considered definite and absolute, but merely considered to be true at the time of the collection and evaluation of the knowledge. That is because , the technology of humanity is ever changing and belief adapt to these changes accordingly. In other words, the truth in any discipline can always change. The discipline in today's topic can also be interpreted in aplethor (plethora) of ways. Through my careful assessment, I have come to choose not popular place for travel with the given topic.
To begin with, I like to travel palces where it is not poular to others but I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because there is no distraction from other tourists. I will not be distracted by other people as my main purpose of traveling is relax. No disturbance from other people is what I choose go to unpopular spot. For example, when I went to the Great Wall in Beijing, China, my friends and I were not able to enjoy. Since there were too much people, so the Great Wall became a mass, and I could not walk properly and see the scenic view of Great Wall. It was not a trip that we expected, so we were disappointed with lot of stress.
In addition, I favor to go spots where it is not popular to others but I can enjoy vacation without crowd, because I can spend time more efficiently. I do not have to waste my time in waiting in line. If I wait in line for too long, my trip schedule might be delayed. To spend time more efficiently, I like traveling without crowds. For instance, I went to Luvure Museume in Paris. I had been waiting for 4 hours to enter the museum, I was not able to go other places such as Effle Tower, and I could not see the artworks due to too much tourists. Had it not delayed for long time, I would able to have fun in other places.
Ultimately, the question of this debate must not be fucused on what is definitely correct or wrong, but more so on how robust each claim is, based on the specific pieces of evidence and claims. Through my evaluation, I have decieded (decided) to choose unpopular places for trip.


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